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NFL Picks.
Get our top NFL picks for every game of the 2020/21 season including our NFL picks against the spread. We dive into the data, betting trends, team news, and a lot more to bring you the best expert NFL picks each week. Check out our NFL predictions and NFL best bets pages for our top plays on today??™s NFL games.
NFL Point Spread Pick.
Well, we made it to the end of the season. It??™s sad to see the NFL winding down, but we??™ve still got one great game left as the Kansas City Chiefs and Tampa Bay Buccaneers square off in the Super Bowl. Patrick Mahomes will get his chance at revenge on Tom Brady after falling to him in the AFC Championship game two seasons ago.
Oddsmakers have the Chiefs as a three-point favorite, which feels a bit light to me for several reasons. One factor to keep in mind here is that the game is being played in the Buccaneers??™ stadium, although I don??™t think there will be any home-field advantage to speak of. There will be a limited amount of fans at the game, and many of those tickets are being given away by the league. It??™s not as if there is going to be a huge contingent of loud Bucs fans, and if anything I wouldn??™t be surprised if Chiefs fans end up outnumbering them.
Moving to the on-field matchup, I don??™t see how the Chiefs fail to have success throwing the ball. Tampa??™s young secondary is exploitable, and every time they??™ve faced a quarterback who can push it downfield they??™ve been exposed. They might have looked good against an aging Drew Brees with a torn labrum, but the week before that they made Taylor Heinicke look like a franchise quarterback. The Chiefs won by three points when these teams played in Tampa during the regular season, but the game wasn??™t as close as that final score indicates. Kansas City was up 17 in the fourth quarter before a couple of late Bucs touchdowns closed the margin. Remember, this is a Tampa Bay team that won all of one game against teams with winning records during the regular season and their playoff run has been very flukey thus far. Brady was mostly horrible against Green Bay as he tossed three interceptions, and it took an extreme series of miscues by the Packers for them to win that game. Their luck may finally run out here.
NFL Game Totals Pick.
The under also makes some sense here because everybody seems to be underrating this Chiefs defense. Kansas City defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo used the regular season to tinker with his schemes, and he??™s been a wizard so far in the playoffs. He just completely shut down Josh Allen and that vaunted Buffalo passing game, limiting Allen to just 6.0 yards per attempt??“ and that number actually got inflated a lot by garbage time. Again, Brady hasn??™t actually played well the past couple of weeks; his opponents just gifted him countless easy opportunities. Against the Saints, Tampa Bay??™s three touchdown drives went for a combined 63 yards because of the short fields they were given off turnovers. Playing the Chiefs now, they aren??™t going to be so fortunate with the starting field position.
While I think the Chiefs??™ offense will have opportunities for success, they aren??™t going to cover this number by themselves. Tampa Bay??™s pass-rush could potentially pose some problems, especially with Mahomes less mobile due to the turf toe he is dealing with. Those problems will only be exacerbated by the absence of left tackle Eric Fisher, who tore his Achilles in the AFC Championship game. This Kansas City secondary is legit and their pass-rush really came alive against Buffalo. The Buccaneers??™ defensive front, with the recently healed Vita Vea, should wreak enough havoc to keep this one from going over a total in the mid-50s.
Super Bowl Betting.
Five key players to watch for Super Bowl LV - Chiefs vs. Buccaneers.
Ranking The Top-10 Super Bowls Of All-Time | Which Is The Greatest Ever Super Bowl?
Super Bowl LV Kansas City Chiefs vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers predictions, picks, odds, spread, lines and betting odds.
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The Home Of Free Expert NFL Picks For The 2020/21 Season.
Even though there are just 17 weeks in the regular season with a maximum of 16 games per week, NFL betting is easily the most popular North American sports wager. NFL point spreads and season win total prop bets are one of the few in the major sports that are openly discussed by announcers and fans alike. Because of betting, and the popularity of fantasy football, every single game of the NFL season is important, widely discussed, analyzed, and a great opportunity to get in on the action with our free NFL expert picks.
Free NFL Picks Explained.
There??™s almost an infinite way to bet on the NFL, from NFL picks against the spread, over unders, parlays , prop bets , daily fantasy sports, or even scoreboard squares, there is a wager type for every kind of football fan. Some bettors like to specialize in a single particular type of NFL pick, while others like to be diverse and wager as many ways as they can on a game. Both types of players can be successful with a disciplined and calculated strategy which is the great thing about NFL betting.
Free NFL Picks Against the Spread.
NFL Over / Under Free NFL Picks.
When you aren??™t 100% confident in which team is going to win in an NFL game, or would rather wager on the game, rather than a team, another exciting way to still get in on the action is with totals wagers. In these bets you don??™t take a side, but whether the two teams will combine to score over or under the total number of points that the oddsmakers have set. This is why last-second field goals in 24 point blowouts are still edge-of-your-seat moments as they can push the total over or under the set line. We preview every game of the NFL season, providing expert insight into the game alongside NFL picks which will always include a pick on the over/under market in each game of the NFL season.
Money Line NFL Picks.
NFL Schedule 2020/21.
Unlike other sports that have had their seasons widely disrupted due to the Covid-19 pandemic, With the NFL season not due to start until August 2020, it is not yet known the implications the recent events will have on the 2020 NFL schedule. As things stand, the NFL season is expected to start on the 10th September with the Super Bowl Champions, Kansas City Chiefs hosting the Houston Texans at Arrowhead Stadium. The NFL regular season schedule is expected to run as normal, with 17 game weeks through until January 3rd, 2021, with the Wild Card round of the playoffs scheduled for the weekend after, across the 9th and 10th January 2021. Super Bowl LV is scheduled for February 7th, at Raymond James Stadium, the home of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
Regular Season NFL Expert Picks ??“ NFL Picks This Week.
Some sites solely focus on the marquee games of an NFL slate but our system features expert picks for every game of the NFL season. The best way to have success in NFL betting is by finding those under-the-radar games like Miami at Jacksonville that do not draw as much public betting interest as Dallas vs. Green Bay. Our expert handicappers spend just as long researching the under-the-radar games, as they do for a Thursday Night Football or Primetime Football games. Our NFL picks this week are the best ways to get a breakdown and a reading of all the games on an NFL slate, with a complete game preview alongside our best NFL picks for each game.
NFL Futures Bets & Playoff Picks.
Throughout the NFL season, we also give you other betting options such as our futures picks and individual player prop bets. Not only do we publish our previews and picks for every game of the NFL regular season but we do the same for the playoffs as well. There??™s a lot of money to be made in the relatively short NFL season ??“ why not make the most of it? The stakes in the NFL playoffs are even higher and the margins between the teams are usually even smaller. With more on the line and the best against the best, the hours of research and analysis our NFL experts put in are at even more of a premium. Follow our NFL playoff picks throughout the entire NFL postseason, right through to the Super Bowl itself.
More Than Just NFL Picks.
We also specialize in every major North American sport including the MLB , NBA , NHL , and College Football and College Basketball . Check out our site every single day for some of the best bets in every major athletic contest and make sure to follow us on social media as well.
2021 NFL Playoff Challenge Fantasy football rankings, best picks: Start Alvin Kamara in Wild Card Round.
SportsLine's Mike McClure has revealed his lineups for the NFL Playoff Challenge.
Finalizing your NFL Playoff Challenge lineups means choosing between stars like Derrick Henry who will play on Wild Card Weekend, and stars who earned a bye like Patrick Mahomes. The longer a player remains in your NFL Playoff Challenge lineups, the more points they'll score, so it could pay to roster Aaron Rodgers, Davante Adams, or Tyreek Hill on Wild Card Weekend even though they won't generate any points.
Which players should be part of your NFL Playoff Challenge strategy this week? And which stars will crush your NFL Playoff Challenge picks? Before setting any 2021 NFL Playoff Challenge lineups, be sure to see the picks and advice from SportsLine's Mike McClure, a DFS pro who has won almost $2 million.
McClure uses a powerful prediction model that simulates every snap of NFL action in every game 10,000 times, taking factors such as matchups, statistical trends and injuries into account. This allows him to find the best values that he shares only with members at SportsLine.
He absolutely crushed his DFS picks during the the 2019 NFL regular season, finishing as high as the top 1 percent of tournaments on DraftKings and returning as much as 40x return in some higher-stakes tournaments. He then continued his roll in the postseason, cashing on every single lineup he posted for the divisional round. Anyone who has been following him has seen some huge returns.
Now he's turned his attention to the 2021 NFL Playoff Challenge. Go here to see his full Wild Card Round lineups.
Top NFL Playoff Challenge picks for the 2021 Wild Card Round.
One of McClure's top NFL Playoff Challenge picks for the 2021 Wild Card Round: Saints running back Alvin Kamara. Along with teammate Taysom Hill, Kamara is a multi-threat player who can score any time he touches the ball. Despite missing Week 17 due to COVID-19, Kamara finished with 932 yards and 16 touchdowns, both career-highs, and caught 83 passes for 756 yards and five more scores.
Not only is Kamara a valuable asset during Wild Card Weekend against the Bears, but he would receive a 2x multiplier next week if he remains in your NFL Playoff Challenge lineup. Kamara is expected to return to the lineup on Sunday, his first available day back from the reserve/COVID-19 list. Lock him into your NFL Playoff Challenge lineups this week and reap the benefits until the Saints are knocked out.
How to build 2021 NFL Playoff Challenge lineups.
McClure is also targeting a pick that could go off for big numbers Wild Card Weekend because of a dream matchup. This pick could be the difference between winning your NFL Playoff Challenge or going home with nothing. You can see who it is over at SportsLine.
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NFL Picks Against the Spread: Super Bowl LV.
NFL Picks (Week 1, 2020): 9-6-1 (+$1,090) NFL Picks (Week 2, 2020): 13-3 (+$1,910) NFL Picks (Week 3, 2020): 12-4 (+$1,230) NFL Picks (Week 4, 2020): 6-7-2 (-$675) NFL Picks (Week 5, 2020): 9-5 (+$1,770) NFL Picks (Week 6, 2020): 5-9 (-$2,365) NFL Picks (Week 7, 2020): 6-7-1 (-$580) NFL Picks (Week 8, 2020): 9-5 (+$1,210) NFL Picks (Week 9, 2020): 3-11 (-$1,945) NFL Picks (Week 10, 2020): 5-8-1 (-$825) NFL Picks (Week 11, 2020): 3-11 (-$1,935) NFL Picks (Week 12, 2020): 10-6 (+$2,395) NFL Picks (Week 13, 2020): 6-9 (-$235) NFL Picks (Week 14, 2020): 10-6 (+$1,330) NFL Picks (Week 15, 2020): 6-9-1 (+$210) NFL Picks (Week 16, 2020): 11-5 (+$1,140) NFL Picks (Week 17, 2020): 8-7-1 (+$985) NFL Picks (Week 18, 2020): 1-5 (-$1,430) NFL Picks (Week 19, 2020): 3-1 (+$285) NFL Picks (Week 20, 2020): 2-0 (+$250)
NFL Picks (2020): 137-124-7 (+$3,815) NFL Picks (2019): 148-128-9 (+$1,200) NFL Picks (2018): 140-134-12 (+$845) NFL Picks (2017): 137-147-10 (-$4,300) NFL Picks (2016): 148-127-10 (+$780) NFL Picks (2015): 133-138-10 (-$3,215) NFL Picks (2014): 143-133-7 (-$1,885) NFL Picks (2013): 144-131-8 (+$7,825) NFL Picks (2012): 130-145-8 (-$7,445) NFL Picks (2011): 137-133-12 (-$1,335) NFL Picks (2010): 144-131-8 (+$5,880) NFL Picks (2009): 151-124-9 (+$4,235) NFL Picks (2008): 136-125-6 (+$6,105) NFL Picks (2007): 162-135-10 (+$3,585) If you don't quite understand the line, total or anything else, go to my Sports Betting FAQ. Vegas betting action updated Feb. 2, 2:20 p.m. ET. Follow @walterfootball for updates.
Super Bowl LV Pick Chiefs at Buccaneers.
Get more free NFL picks for every game Doc's Sports.
Last Week's NFL Picks Against The Spread (Week 20, 2020): 2-0 (+$250) Last Week's 2-3 Unit NFL Picks (Week 20, 2020): 2-0 (+$400) Last Week's 4-5 Unit NFL Picks (Week 20, 2020): 0-0 ($0) Last Week Over-Under (Week 20, 2020): 0-2 ($0) Last Week's Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks (Week 20, 2020): -$150.
2020 NFL Picks of the Month: 2-2, 50.0% (-$135)
2020 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 137-124-6, 52.5% (+$3,815) 2020 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 47-43-3, 52.2% (-$1,965) 2020 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 37-22-1, 62.7% (+$5,515) 2020 Season Over-Under: 140-122-6, 53.4% ($0) 2020 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$225.
1999 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 27-41-3 (39.7%) 2000 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 128-123-8 (51.0%) 2001 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 127-122-7 (51.0%) 2002 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 123-136-7 (47.5%) 2003 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 146-126-8 (53.7%) 2004 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 157-123-8 (56.1%) 2005 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 156-126-11 (55.3%) 2006 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 151-135-9 (52.8%) 2007 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 162-135-10, 54.5% (+$3,585) 2008 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 148-140-7, 51.4% (+$6,105) 2009 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 151-124-9, 54.9% (+$4,235) 2010 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 144-131-8, 52.4% (+$5,880) 2011 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 137-133-12, 50.7% (-$1,335) 2012 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 130-145-8, 47.3% (-$7,445) 2013 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 144-131-8, 52.4% (+$7,825) 2014 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 143-133-7, 51.8% (-$1,885) 2015 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 134-138-12, 49.3% (-$3,215) 2016 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 148-127-10, 53.8% (+$780) 2017 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 137-140-8, 49.5% (-$4,300) 2018 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 140-134-14, 51.3% (+$845) 2019 Season NFL Picks Against The Spread: 149-128-9, 53.6% (+$1,200)
2002 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 41-49-2 (45.6%) 2003 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 52-51-2 (50.5%) 2004 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 65-44-3 (59.6%) 2005 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 77-61-1 (55.8%) 2006 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 65-61-4 (51.6%) 2007 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 83-59-5, 58.5% (+$4,110) 2008 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 44-57-3, 43.6% (-$3,510) 2009 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 49-35-3, 58.3% (+$2,260) 2010 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 51-38-4, 57.3% (+$3,180) 2011 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 44-51-3, 46.3% (-$2,715) 2012 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 45-50-2, 47.4% (-$2,130) 2013 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 38-42, 47.5% (-$2,890) 2015 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 47-44-1, 51.6% (-$820) 2016 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 42-35-3, 54.5% (+$475) 2017 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 32-40-3, 43.8% (-$2,395) 2018 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 52-41-2, 55.9% (+$2,670) 2019 Season 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 44-36-2, 55.0% (+$655)
2002 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 11-12 (47.8%) 2003 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 16-13-1 (55.2%) 2004 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 18-11 (62.1%) 2005 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 25-22-1 (53.2%) 2006 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 21-29-1 (42.0%) 2007 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 35-30-2, 53.8% (+$420) 2008 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 39-26-2, 60.0% (+$4,055) 2009 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 29-26, 52.7% (+$330) 2010 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 32-22, 59.3% (+$4,790) 2011 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 14-14, 50.0% (-$1,260) 2012 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 14-21, 40.0% (-$3,650) 2013 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 17-9-3, 65.4% (+$2,970) 2015 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 17-16-2, 51.5% (-$1,120) 2016 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 21-22-5, 48.8% (-$1,465) 2017 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 20-22-1, 47.6% (-$1,595) 2018 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 27-32-1, 45.8% (-$4,735) 2019 Season 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 37-27-2, 57.8% (+$2,185)
2001 Season Over-Under: 3-2 (60.0%) 2002 Season Over-Under: 121-91-3 (57.1%) 2003 Season Over-Under: 126-132-2 (48.8%) 2004 Season Over-Under: 139-124-4 (52.9%) 2005 Season Over-Under: 117-145-4 (44.7%) 2006 Season Over-Under: 129-132-5 (49.4%) 2007 Season Over-Under: 136-145-3, 48.4% (-$1,900) 2008 Season Over-Under: 137-125-6, 52.3% (+$860) 2009 Season Over-Under: 128-135-4, 48.7% (-$3,195) 2010 Season Over-Under: 128-135-5, 48.7% (-$5) 2011 Season Over-Under: 131-131-5, 50.0% (+$135) 2012 Season Over-Under: 125-121-5, 50.8% (+$30) 2013 Season Over-Under: 132-130-5, 50.4% (-$340) 2015 Season Over-Under: 143-119-5, 54.6% ($0) 2016 Season Over-Under: 123-141-1, 46.6% (+$95) 2017 Season Over-Under: 136-139-2, 49.5% (+$640) 2018 Season Over-Under: 118-128-3, 48.0% (-$225) 2019 Season Over-Under: 126-133-4, 48.6% (-$50)
2007 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$1,035 2008 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$1,775 2009 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$865 2010 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$200 2011 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$590 2012 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$1,685 2013 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$2,245 2015 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$855 2016 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$275 2017 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$510 2018 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: +$1,495 2019 Season Prop/ML/Teaser/Parlay Picks: -$1,715.
2006 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-3 (50%) 2007 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-3, 50.0% (-$400) 2008 NFL Picks of the Month: 6-1, 85.7% (+$3,720) 2009 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-2, 60.0% (+$640) 2010 NFL Picks of the Month: 2-4, 33.3% (-$1,810) 2011 NFL Picks of the Month: 5-2, 71.4% (+$1,870) 2012 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-2, 60.0% (+$560) 2013 NFL Picks of the Month: 6-0, 100% (+$3,900) 2014 NFL Picks of the Month: 2-4, 33.3% (-$1,350) 2015 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-3, 50.0% (-$100) 2016 NFL Picks of the Month: 5-1, 83.3% (+$2,780) 2017 NFL Picks of the Month: 4-2, 66.7% (+$1,040) 2018 NFL Picks of the Month: 4-3, 57.1% (-$640) 2019 NFL Picks of the Month: 3-3-1, 50.0% (-$625)
Career NFL Picks Against The Spread: 2,994-2,761-179, 52.0% (+$14,120) Career 2-3 Unit NFL Picks: 957-859-49 (52.7%) Career 4-5 Unit NFL Picks: 452-396-23 (53.3%) Career Over-Under: 2,462-2,416-66 (50.5%) Career Second-Half NFL Picks: 22-15-1 (61.1%) Career NFL Picks of the Month: 44-29-1 (60.3%)
My Team-by-Team ATS Record This section shows how well I do when picking each team this year. The purpose is to see how well I read each team. Pushes are not displayed. Winning/losing streak in parentheses.
NFL's Week 10 Pick'em: Trailing ESPN's Mortensen By Two.
Senior Writer I November 4, 2008 Comments Comment Bubble Icon.
By Derek Lofland.
After an incredible 11-3 week, (failing on the Redskins, Broncos and Jaguars' games) my 2008 record now stands at 85-45, which translates to a .654 percentage correct rate.
Also, note that out of eight ESPN??™s experts, I only trail Chris Mortensen by two games. His record for the year is 87-43.
On to predicting Week 10 of the NFL Football season!
New Orleans (4-4) at Atlanta (5-3): This is a big game for New Orleans. They are in last place at 4-4 and have to keep pace with this division. A loss will probably leave them three games out of the division lead and two games behind Atlanta and Tampa Bay.
They cannot afford to have that many teams to leapfrog. I like the Saints coming off a bye to beat the Falcons, who are coming off a road win in Oakland. Drew Brees should have another big game and score enough points for the Saints to win this game.
Winner : New Orleans.
Tennessee (8-0) at Chicago (5-3): I had originally picked this as Tennessee??™s first loss in one of my earlier articles. That was until the Bears were blessed with the return of Sexy Rexy.
I refuse to pick a team to win a game with Rex Grossman at quarterback when the opponent is 8-0 and has.
a very tough defense. I look for lots of Rex Grossman interceptions and another good defensive effort by Tennessee to get them to 9-0.
The Titans will not go 16-0 this season, but they are still the best team in football until someone beats them.
Green Bay (4-4) at Minnesota (4-4): This is a big game for the NFC North. The winner is in all likelihood going to be tied with the Chicago Bears for the division lead. Green Bay has played well in the dome in recent years, and Rodgers played very well against the Vikings in the opener. I expect a close game like these rivals give us every time they play one another.
The key is going to be which defensive unit gets the better of the following matchup: Adrian Peterson vs. the 27th ranked Green Bay run defense or Aaron Rodgers/Greg Jennings and the 23rd ranked Minnesota defense. I like the Packers to score enough points to win.
Winner : Green Bay.
Buffalo (5-3) at New England (5-3): Buffalo is another team on a slide. After starting 4-0, they have gone 1-3 and their lead in the division is completely erased. Buffalo does not force enough interceptions to get Matt Cassel in trouble. Buffalo will play hard like they always do.
However, just as they were relegated to the pass against the Jets, the Hood will make them beat them through the air and take away Lynch. I think New England finds a way to win a tough divisional game at home.
Winner : New England.
New York Giants (7-1) at Philadelphia (5-3): Every divisional game in the NFC East is a big game. A record of 10-6 could get a team a last place finish in the NFC East the way things are headed. I am going with the upset in this game.
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?»?Matt Millen and Joe Theismann equals double trouble in NFL Network booth.
NFL Network does many things I love. Tragically, its presentation of NFL games is not one of them.
And this year, NFL Network has undertaken a social experiment of potentially apocalyptic consequences: It has created a three-man booth, two of the men being Matt Millen and Joe Theismann, which means, in effect, a 4 1??„2-man booth.
Putting Millen and Theismann in the same booth is like putting sugar and honey in your green tea.
With no regard for a trembling and tormented nation still reeling from economic and electoral collapse, NFL Network has decided to stuff two stupefying and unrelenting voices into our living rooms every Thursday night.
Amtrak has a ???Quiet Car??? ??” it prohibits cell phone use and Joe Theismann.
Theismann doesn??™t talk in his sleep, he filibusters in his sleep.
If you handed Theismann a celery stick, he would speak into it.
Millen, meanwhile, long has been potent at a very simple TV device ??” if you say something authoritatively, it appears you are an authority.
I don??™t care that Millen was arguably the worst team president in modern NFL history, with the Detroit Lions. I do care that I can??™t even shift around in my Barcalounger without him soliloquizing on inside A-gap blitzes, 5-underneath coverage and tackle- end splits.
Theismann and Millen talk in so many circles, they ought to be broadcasting from a Ferris wheel. They say too much to say too little; in fact, they will say stuff that contradicts stuff they said earlier.
Listening to Theismann and Millen reminds me of that Cialis ad ??” if your erudition lasts more t h a n f o u r hours, c a l l your local cable operator.
Next time you??™re watching an NFL game on NFL Network, try this test: See h o w m a n y times you can count to 5 during the telecast with no one talking. I gave it a shot ??” if you ever get to 10, sell.
(By the way, I must admit to overwhelming guilt in regard to the fact that the current culture allows me to stay at home and watch TV, counting to 5 to see how often the talking heads are talking, and, apparently, this is an acceptable means of earning a living. At least I didn??™t waste an Ivy League education preparing for this ??” I am University of Maryland ??™81.)
Incidentally, there is a third person actually calling the games on NFL Network. His name is Bob Papa, and I believe he is part of the witness protection program; he lives an anonymous life in a booth he can never leave. Here??™s a smattering of Theismann and Millen insights from Thursday??™s Ravens-Falcons game:
Millen: ???You look at these defenses ??” they both have their strengths, and they both have their weaknesses.???
Theismann (on a Matt Ryan pass): ???Aerodynamically, it??™s thrown perfectly.???
Millen: ???If you look at the Atlanta Falcons??™ offensive line versus the defensive front of the Baltimore Ravens . .. collectively they??™re much better than they are individually, and they have to collectively win that battle.???
Theismann: ???What impresses me about the Atlanta Falcons ??” on two third-and-short situations, the ball carrier knew how far he had to go . .. they??™ve picked up [two] first downs just by being smart.???
Millen: ???Remember, this is a one-score game right now. So [the Falcons] have to use the clock, and they have to convert here; you know, try to pick up the first down.???
Theismann: ???The Ravens knew it wasn??™t going to be easy. It was going to be a slobberknocker, for lack of a better word.???
Even Papa was pulled into the slobberknocker abyss. NFL Network is obsessed with thirddown statistical minutiae, leading Papa to intone, ???[The Falcons] are 6-of-8 on third-down attempts between 5 and 8 yards. Third-and-4 here.???
Alas, the game mercifully ended. How did I know it was over? I could count to 5 in peace.
Norman Chad: Betting one way to boost NFL's booming bottom line.
I like the NFL so much, I am going to do it a big favor today. Rather than simply pummel the league again for its decades-old, hypocritical stance on gambling ??” oh, we'll do a little of that first ??” I will offer the world's richest men a way to make themselves even richer!
(Couch Slouch is the anti-Robin Hood: From the masses I take, to the asses I give.)
Let's briefly review the NFL's official stance on gambling:
Yet here's the thing about the NFL:
??? NFL teams have licensing agreements with state lotteries, which, the last time I looked, were an undeniable form of gambling.
??? The NFL thumbs its nose at Las Vegas but plays games in London, where Londoners can bet on those contests at betting parlors, some within walking distance of Wembley Stadium, the NFL's British home field.
Now, as I've often said, if fantasy isn't gambling, then Penthouse isn't pornographic; ah, but the NFL's fantasy games are
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